Twins: The Adventures in Tot Land
by Senacat
Summary: Who said marriage would be boring? Now that Selina & Bruce have twins, the fun is just beginning...
1. Twins

They lay curled tight against each other. 

Bruce heard the first pitiful cry in the dark.  Selina groaned and shifted her legs but didn't get up.

"Daddy!" He heard the girl's soft cry.  He opened his eyes and blinked a few times trying to get his eyes to adjust to the darkness of his bedroom.  Almost fully awake he heard, "Momm…" and the most horrible, violent retching noise, which seemed to echo throughout the room.

He sat up immediately but it was Selina who was on the move.  She launched herself off the end of the bed and landed with a soft thud somewhere three-quarters between the bed and the bedroom door.  Bruce had enough sense to yell, "Robe!" before Selina could get out the door.  She looked down at her naked body a bit confused then swore, "Shit" she looked around unfocused.  Bruce came up behind her.

"Here," he said slipping one arm in his own robe and handing Selina hers with his other hand.

She put it on quickly and was out the door and down the hall to their daughter's room.  She made sure her robe was closed and tied before opening the door.

"Felis?" questioned Selina before she turned on the light.

"Mommy," Felis cried pitifully.  

With the light on Selina approached the bed where her daughter sat up in bed.  Her hair was drenched in sweat and all down the front of her and covering the sheets was Alfred's famous homemade hamburgers.

"Oh, baby…"Selina said coming over to her.

"I'm sick!" Felis cried out and began to sob.

"It's all right, it's all right…" Selina chanted softly pulling covers off of her daughter.

"Uh-oh," Bruce mumbled from behind them.  Selina looked up at him.  She didn't look so good either and he wondered if it was the smell or that Felis was sick.

"No more famous Alfred burgers for you young lady,' Bruce said.

"I'm going to get some towels."  She headed to Felis' bathroom.  

Bruce sat on the bed and tried to help his daughter off with her nightgown without making a bigger mess.  Just as he'd gotten it over her head Felis moaned.

"Daddy, I'm sick."

"I know baby," he said moving some sticky hair from away from a suddenly green cheek.

"No," she protested "I'm…" then bluuuaaahhh.  Bruce gasped trying to catch most of it in the already soiled nightgown.  

"Good God, Felis.  How much did you eat? And why is it so---BLUE?!"

"Grape soda," Selina said pushing him out of the way.  Bruce could tell Selina was barely holding it together.  She shook badly as she tried to wipe Felis with a wet cloth.

"What's going on?" Bruce heard behind him.  He turned to see Grayson rubbing his eye with one hand and carrying that damned Superman doll hanging from the other.

"Sister is sick," Bruce said.

Gray's eyes shot open and took a couple of quick steps forward to peer around his mother.  The boy had a penchant to like the gross and macabre.

"EEEWWW!!" He said loudly and a bit joyfully.

"Stop!!" Yelled out Felis swatting in the air at him and began crying again.  Selina turned on Grayson with her fierce Catwoman look.

"GET BACK TO BED!!"

Grayson jumped back as if Selina had actually struck him.  His eyes quickly teared up and he panted.

"Yes, Ma'am," his little chin quivered and he turned to leave.  Selina sighed exasperated and looked up at Bruce.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed.  It couldn't quite come out and her eyes blurred. 

He smiled gently and came to her.

"It's okay, it's okay," he kissed the top of her head.  "I'll go get him."

"Thanks," she managed.

Grayson was slowly dragging his feet down the hall, head hung low.

"Hey, dude," Bruce drawled one of Gray's new found favorite words.  He picked up his son by the armpits and hoisted him to his chest.

"She's mad," Gray squeaked out.  

"No, she's just upset.  It's not you Gray.  Mommy is just really scared."

Alfred was coming down the hall quickly with linens and towels, having heard on his own monitor, the events of the last few minutes.  Bruce and Selina had wired the house with baby monitors just before the twins were born.  All the central rooms in the house had them, including the Batcave.  If they were not in a central room by chance, they also had remote speakers.

"Are you all right young sir?"

"Yeah, he's fine.  I'm just taking him to bed."

Alfred nodded and headed to Felis' room.

"Oh my," was the last thing he heard from his butler.

Bruce felt relief come over him knowing his friend was on the scene.  When something happened to the children, his friend had stayed superhumanly calm and collected.  He and Selina always seemed to bump and stumble into each other like cartoon characters on fire.  Alfred had reassured his boss time and again that he and Selina had gotten much better since the twins were born.  Bruce and Selina weren't too sure.

Selina was more apt to fall apart when the kids were sick.  He briefly recalled when Gray had gotten whooping cough at nine months old.  Alfred had held him in a hot, steaming shower to relieve the cough.  Bruce was out side the bathroom holding his crying, convulsing wife.  Every time Gray had coughed, she jumped as if someone had shot her with a tazer.

He on the other hand lost all sense of reality if one of the children became hurt.  He remembered distinctly down to the last detail the day Gray broke his leg.  Gray had just acquired a new Superman costume (complete with cape) at his sixth birthday party a few days before The Incident.  Clark had given it himself and Bruce had told his wife that no good could come of the gift.

"He likes Superman," she said back.

Selina had also bought him the Superman doll and a book about Superman defeating The Parasite with the help of his best pal, Grayson Drake Wayne.  Clark even signed the damn thing!  Bruce had come unglued.

"That's not funny," he said to her.

"What?" She chuckled back.

Just to get even, he had gotten his own writer and artist to put together a book for him.  At the end of his story Felis had high-fived The Huntress while a tied up Catwoman growled.  They had heard Catwoman use to be bad but now she was good.  They heard it a lot!  He knew he would really push his wife's buttons when she saw the last page showing Felis kissing The Batman's right cheek and Huntress kissing the other.  The End.

It was no way close to being the end for his wife.  Selina had threatened him with a divorce and she was gong to take more than half.  No telling what else she would have taken half of if he had actually gotten Huntress to sign his book as well.  But Helena was very, very, smart.  After reading the book and glaring at him for a silent five minutes she said,

"No way."

"Why not?" He growled.

"Are you insane?" She said not missing a beat.  "This has got a dispatch-to-911-domestic-disturbance-call-at-Wayne-Manor written all over it.  YOU I can handle being mad at me.  SHE on the other hand would haunt and torture me until I cut my own throat or was committed to Arkham for paranoia schizophrenia.  No, sir." She went to the edge of the building they met on.  Before she jumped off into the night she added,

"And don't have Oracle forge my name either."  Barbara, ever since she found out about Helena and Dick, would be bitchy enough to do it.  Hmmm, he never thought of that.

"I'll….I'll…sue!" She said running away.  She had wanted to say she'd kick his ass but well, she wouldn't really call it an ass kicking.  She'd do the best SHE could, that is before he flung her off him like a piece of lint from one of his thousand dollar suits.

Bruce had thrown the Superman book issue at her when Selina said the "D" word.  She backed down but not before holding back on sex for weeks.

However, all was forgiven one night when he animatedly read The Huntress book to both Grayson and Felis.  Selina watched him from the door way as he tried to mimic her hiss and growl.  Felis interjected—loudly.

"Daddy!  Daddy!" She said putter hand to his mouth to shut him up.  "You know daddy, it's not a very good story."

"No, it's not," Gray had agreed.  "It's kinda' stupid.  Here daddy, read this one!"  Like a well-trained magician, Grayson pulled out of nowhere, his Superman book.

"Yea," Felis agreed gleefully and stood on the bed.

"Superman! Superman!" Gray chanted loudly and began jumping on the bed.

"Superman! Superman!" Felis joined him jumping too.

He looked towards the doorway but his wife had gone running down the hallway.  In their bedroom he knew he heard her laughing as if she had been exposed to Joker gas—it was horrible.

He had almost busted in his own bedroom door (in order to wrap his shaking hands around her throat) but was stopped short when he saw her laying completely naked on their bed with a Sterling Silver rose in her teeth and an inviting, sexy, smile beaming at him.  His anger evaporated quickly and was replaced by a sudden calculation of the last time he'd made love to her.  3 weeks, 2 days, 6 hours, 10 minutes….

"She's kinda' like you were when I broke my leg, huh daddy?"  Gray said to him.

"Yeah," he said softly.  He had almost put it out of his mind.

He had been in his study that day, his concentration deep in a merger contract.  He had heard Grayson yell out. 

"Hey, daddy!  Look at me—I can fly!"

"That's nice son," he called back.

I wasn't until Gray had yelled,

"UP, UP AND AWAAAYYY!"  When Bruce had realized what his son was up to.  He was over his desk and doing his own imitation of a single bound over the study couch that separated his desk form the doorway.  He skidded to a stop on a newly waxed hard wood floor just in time to see Grayson hitting the ground with a double thud (since his little body had actually bounced) and a shriek.  Of course Gray's shriek wasn't louder than Bruce's howl of utter disbelief at what he had seen.

Selina and Alfred were just coming through the kitchen door with groceries when they heard the inhuman noise.  They had looked at each other at first but Selina was out the kitchen's swinging door before Alfred could ask, "What was that?"

Selina had come upon Gray first, lying on the ground.  She easily leapt over him and got on all fours.

"Gray, baby, what happen?"

"My head hurts but my leg hurts real bad," he said trying to get up.

"No," she said putting her hand to his chest keeping him down "Don't move."

She glanced up and saw Bruce.

"Call an ambulance," she said her voice cracking.

But Bruce didn't move.  He had backed himself against the closest wall and just stared.  He was whiter then snow.

"Bruce!" She yelled at him but he didn't react.  From the look of him he was reliving a few different of his own horrors all at once.

"Shit!" she swore not caring she said that word in front of Grayson.  She started to get up to find a phone but Alfred had appeared out of nowhere with a phone to his ear and a blanket.

"Yes, that's right" he said calmly. "Wayne Manor and hurry."  He squatted and covered Grayson with a blanket.  Selina looked at him queerly.

"For shock," he whispered.  She only nodded.  Alfred went to Bruce, noted him and ran off.  Selina looked at Bruce, she had to ignore him, being that his state was almost as bad as Grayson's.  She looked down at her son and his eyes were closing.

"Grayson, Grayson, wake up!"  She tried not to shake him.  "GRAYSON DRAKE WAYNE! If you fall asleep, so help me, I'll paddle your behind until it hurts worse than your leg!"

"I'm awake," he said eyes shooting open.  "I'm awake mommy." 

Alfred had come back and spoke to Bruce.

"Master Bruce, drink this."  Bruce took it and sipped the contents of the glass Alfred brought him.  Realizing it was brandy; he downed the whole thing in a swallow.  He seemed to snap out of his shock.  He looked to where Grayson lay, his little head lulling to the side Selina lay, flat, cheek to the ground.

"Mommy?" he said softly.

"Yeah baby?" Bruce heard her voice really crack.

"I'm sorry..." and his eyes shut.  

"GRAY--!" she cried out.  Alfred was already taking over.  He stomped the ground loudly.

"Grayson Wayne, wake up this instant!" Grayson opened unfocused eyes.  Everything was blurry.  Bruce was over his son now looking at him over his head. 

"Daddy?" Gray said eyes rolling.

"Stay awake boy!" Bruce tried to conjure up his scariest voice but it wouldn't happen.  So he went strait to scare tactics.

"Hey dude, don't fall asleep.  Sister's got Superman by his cape!"

"No…" Grays eyes flew open and he tried to get up.

"Don't move," Bruce said holding him down.

The paramedics had come soon after that and they administered to the boy carefully.  Bruce had stayed with Alfred to wait for Felis who was at a birthday party.  Thankfully she arrived just as the ambulance was driving off.

"Daddy!" Felis cried running up the front steps and into her father's arms.  He picked her up and squeezed her tightly for reassurance, more for himself than for her.

"What happened?  Is mommy okay?  Where's Gray and Alfred?" she was shivering with fright.

"Its Okay Baby-cat," he said kissing her over and over.  "Mom's fine, Alfred went to get the car when he saw Mrs. Brice drive you up."

"And Gray" she prodded him because he just seemed to stop talking.  He swallowed hard.

"Gray got hurt Baby-cat."

"What? How?"

"He jumped from the banister."

"Uh-uh," she said in disbelief.

"Yea, he thought he was Superman and tried to fly."  He laughs at it now but then saying the words made his whole body ache.  Felis hugged him fiercely.  She put her mouth close to his ear and whispered.

"Brother can do stupid things sometimes but he's generally a good kid."  She patted his other cheek mimicking when he'd pat one or both of his kids on the head.  He looked at her and marveled at her insight.  Well, it really wasn't insight but coming from a newly seven year old….it knocked him off his feet.  He hugged her to him tight and squeezed, the words, _God I love my kids, God I love_ _my kids_ running through his head.

"Daddy," she strangled out, "you're squeezing too tight."

"Sorry," he let up quickly.

"It's okay," she smiled her mother's smile or was it his mother's smile…?

"I like squeezes better than when mommy bites."

Alfred honked the horn and he carried Felis to the car.

Bruce had been eerily silent during the ride to the hospital.  He had a deadeye stare as he looked at the scenery passing him by out his window.  However, if Alfred had seen the images of Gray hitting the floor running threw Bruce's mind he would have worried. He was glad for the quiet though.  However, the quiet would not last.  Alfred heard Felis' shaky voice suddenly pipe up.

"He's not going to die is he daddy?" she said from her side of the back seat.   It never occurred to Bruce that he hadn't told her the extent of Grayson's wounds.  The paramedics said it was probably a broken leg and a concussion.  But all Felis heard was he jumped from the banister and saw the ambulance drive off with her brother in it.  If he were really paying attention, he would have seen how scared she really was now that she had time to think about it.  At least Alfred had hoped Bruce had understood where she was coming from.

"GOD DAMN IT FELIS!!" He roared at his daughter.

Nope, he missed it completely.

Alfred jumped and Felis barreled into him.  Having been so afraid of Bruce, she leaped over the back of the front seat where Alfred was driving.  He had to swerve in order to get back into his own lane.

"Felis?  Felis, baby I'm sorry," Bruce said starting to climb over the seat himself.

Alfred decided that would not be a good idea and took matters into his own hands.

"Felis," Bruce looked at her as she backed under the front dash.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean—"

He was cut off by someone suddenly dragging him backward threw the car door he sat next to.  He spun on his attacker; hitting someone right now would feel really good.

"Alfred--?" he stammered.  Only Alfred had not looked like Alfred.  As a matter of fact Alfred had never looked at him like that.  He opened his mouth to speak but Alfred spoke first.

"YOU," he began, "WILL PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!  Your behavior so far has been intolerable—you froze when your son needed you.  Whatever you have in you that makes you continue, as long as you have, in your extra curricular activities—FIND IT!  Look before you leap Master Bruce, I'll only give you one warning or I swear, you'll come to hate me."

Bruce looked utterly defeated.  Alfred hadn't seen that look in a long time.

"I'm sorry sir," Alfred said less harshly.  "Yelling at an adult is much different than yelling at a child—you scarred her out of her mind.  How she got out of her seat belt and over the seat…." Lord, he had nearly had him coming out of his skin but Alfred didn't say that.

"You're right Alfred" he said and turned to get into the front seat where Felis still cowered.  She peered at him from under the dark dash like one of Selina's cats looking at him from under the bed when they were afraid of him.

"Baby-cat, Daddy is so sorry.  I-I don't react well to hearing about people I love…dying" He swallowed hard.  His eyes teared up at the thought of losing either one of them.  Felis blinked at him.  She'd never seen her dad this upset, especially not cry.  Even when they went to the cemetery ever year he never cried.  He got really quiet and didn't talk much or was very cranky the whole day.

He watched her slowly creep out from under the car dash.  Her big, violet eyes loomed in front of his and she pressed her forehead to his.

"This is not like the cemetery is it?"

"It's worse." He said with a horse whisper.

"That's bad." She whispered back.  "Just for today, daddy, I won't be scared because you need me."  He grabbed her to him, tears streaming down his face.  He'd never, in his life, know what he'd done to get such a prize as these two incredible children and an even more spectacular wife.

She patted his head this time, thinking about the cemetery.  Felis had pitched a fit the last time they went.  She hated the cemetery and she sure did let everyone know.  She screamed at her mother and father, at the top of her lungs, in the middle of their bedroom, her defiance.

"I'M NOT GOING—I'D RATHER SHOOT MYSEEEELF!!"  

The room became deadly silent and frosty cold.  Had there been any moisture in the air, the room would have snowed.  Four pair of eyes stared at her.  Her mother was just finishing putting on earrings, her father was fixing his tie, Alfred was chatting with Grayson while he tied his dress shoes.  But now all eyes were on her.  She looked around cautiously, planning her escape.  It was Gray who spoke first in a hushed voice.

"Oooo Felis!  You're in trouble!" 

"Stop!" she yelled at him and swatted at him in the air.  She turned back to where her parents had stood staring having caught movement out of the corner of her eye.  Her mother was taking a step in her directions—FELIS TOOK OFF!!  She ran down the hall towards her room.  She could hear her mom yelling her name close behind her.

"FELIS PENNY WAYNE—don't you run from me!"

Alfred had stood and tried to go after them fearing the worst but Bruce had caught him by the arm.  Bruce gave him that famous cold Batman stare that made you want to cry.

"Finish putting on his socks…" it was a low ominous sound.

"Y-Yes sir," Alfred did not argue.  Grey watched Alfred tie his other shoe, every now and again peeking up at his father just in case his father might explode.

Meanwhile Felis had leapt onto her bed.  She had tried to slam her door but her mother had caught it.  Now Selina had her by the ankle and dragged her across the bed.

"Don't you ever—" Selina hissed between clenched teeth.

"No! Mommy no!" 

Selina grabbed her daughter by the shoulders and set her on her feet.  She squatted down to look her strait in the eye.

"Felis, do you know how cruel that was?"  Felis only cried more. 

 "I don't want to go, mommy!  Please don't make me.  I don't like the cemetery.  I know Gray likes it but—I'm scared!" she said with a final wail.

Selina pulled her sobbing girl in her arms and sighed.  Truthfully, Selina hated it too.  It was so creepy and morbid.  Well, the cemetery wasn't but Bruce…his mood made it seem like the world was coming to an end year after every horrible f—ing year!

"Look," she said pulling Felis away to look her in the eye.  "I'm going to tell you something I tell myself ever time this day comes.  Sometimes we have to put away our fears in order to be helpful to the people we love.  Just for today, Baby-cat, we are not going to be afraid because daddy needs us."

At the cemetery Selina stood by the car and watched Bruce.  Gray pulled Alfred along the gravestones asking, "What's this one say? What's this one say?"  Every now and then he'd add disappointedly, "I wish they'd tell you how they died," or "Wow, that was a long time ago, do you think the worms have gotten to his eyes yet?"  Selina thought it was amusing.  Somehow he had gotten it in his head that maggots started eating a body form the feet up.  She shook herself—YUCK!  Maybe she shouldn't have let Dick read to him about mummies.

Alfred on the other hand said:

"Please Master Grayson, can you not say such things?"

"Yes, sir.  Who's this Alfred? And look, he's got a picture of his dog on his headstone.  Do you think they buried the dog too?"

"I shudder to think…"

Selina peeked into the back of the limo.

"You okay, Baby-cat?"

Felis nodded but her eyes darted about wildly.  Felis once complained that she saw strange things out of the corner of her eyes when she was at the cemetery.  When she turned to look at them full on, they were gone.  Even when she was a few years younger and was just starting to form sentences, she had asked her mother:

 "Who's that mommy?  Who's that?"  Selina would look to where she pointed but nothing was there but trees or head stones.  Figuring it was Felis' mistake she'd reply.

"That's a tree, Felis.  Trees are 'what's' not 'who's'.  'What's that?' Is a tree."

"Oh," she'd say simply and star all over again and point to something else. "Who's that mommy?"  Selina had let it go but now she was beginning to wonder.  

"We're almost done, I promise.  He just put the flowers on the grave."

Felis nodded again but was distracted by her brother climbing in the car babbling about what he had seen.  Selina stood to see Bruce coming down the hill, head down.  He stepped up to her and looked up.  Every time he was taken aback by her being there.  He would smile at her with relief, realizing his life was so much different now.  It was the smile that said Selina had free reign to joke.  Today she said:

"Are we human again?" She asked.  "Yep, I think I see my husband in those beautiful blue eyes."  He grabbed her and kissed her passionately.  She reminded him that the children where in the car and though she was open to their knowing about the birds and the bees, she didn't want them to know how the birds and the bees did it and would he please let go of her ass—thank you very much.  Knowing Gray, he'd go around asking, "How do you do it? My mommy and daddy do it at the cemetery."  He laughed and kissed her at the same time and against her lips he'd beg. 

"Marry me! I want to give you children.  I want to grow old with you."  She giggled.

"Too late."

"Daddy!  Daddy!" Gray's annoyed voice brought him back to reality.  He had been sitting on Grayson's bed, his back against the wall.  Gray stood next to him bent over to look him in the eye.

"You were staring again."

"Sorry son.  What were we reading?"  Bruce asked while saying a silent prayer of hope.

"This," Gray said pulling out the Adventures of Superman starring his best friend Grayson Wayne.  Bruce willed himself not to throw the book.  He opened it with a large defeated sigh.  He thought he'd gotten over this.  Ever since the night Selina had caught him with the book and the reward he would get every time he'd stop himself from destroying it, should have ended his anxiety.

He stood in front of the roaring fire in his study.  Grayson just left to go to bed and before Bruce could tell him he forgot his Superman book, he was gone.  'Course, one might say he didn't do too much to stop his son from leaving without the book or even call him back to come get the book.

"What's that?" Selina said from the study door.

"What? Nothing." he turned quickly hiding the book.  She looked at him working her jaw.

"Bruce Wayne," She warned.  "If you burn your son's favorite book…."

"I was reading it! Gray left it here."

"That close to a roaring fire?" she shot back.

"I read better by the fire."

"You are so busted—admit it!"

He huffed.

"Fine." He tossed her the book.  She caught it easily with one hand.  But she continued to stare.

"What?" he asked.  "You have your precious book."

Selina sighed.  She stepped in his study and closed the door.  He watched her slink over.

"No," he said to her warn her off.  "Sex won't make up for this." He scowled at her.  She still advanced on him wearing her cute/sexy grin and he felt himself caving.  He looked down at her and she up at him sliding her hands over his chest under this robe.

"Don't think of it as sex.  Think of it as a reward for not giving into your insatiable need to strike out at a poor defenseless book.  "Why don't you take some of that insatiability out on me, hmmm?" She kissed his chin and then slid her lips over his jaw descending on his ear.  She breathed softly in his ear whispering wicked, wicked things.

"Stop," he gasped out.

"I can't," she whispered huskily over his lips.  

"Selina," he pleaded, "It hasn't been that long."

"That was hours ago but it's been forever since we've done it on your desk."  He groaned and swallowed her mouth.

He didn't know how he managed to get through the story but he did it.  He also tucked his son into bed and turned off the light.

By the time he had made it back to Felis' room Alfred and Selina had managed to change the bed as well as bathed and redressed Felis.  They both stood over her.

"I'm hungry," Felis said softly.

"After all that?" her mother replied.

Felis nodded her head.  Selina eyed her closely.  Felis lay on her side her little hands tucked under one cheek.  Even as she spoke her eyes were drifting close.

"I tell you what, my dear," Alfred whispered.  "If you give it a few minutes and you're still hungry, I'll make you some toast."

She tried opening her eyes but they only closed again.  All the adults thought she was asleep until she suddenly piped up.

"With the chocolate stuff?" she said rather loudly.

"It's to late for chocolate Felis," Selina whispered.  She had been running her fingernails lightly through Felis' hair and the soothing effect was working well.

"Please," she whispered.

"How about a little whipped honey?" asked Alfred looking at Selina with a smile.

"The black berry honey?" Felis questioned.

"That's the one."

"I like that one.  Brother always sticks his fingers in the chocolate when you're not looking anyway."

"I like the berry honey too Baby-cat, I'll have some with you." Bruce said squatting between Alfred and his wife.

"Daddy," she said softly with a smile, her eyes still closed.  She sat up and reached for him.  Alfred moved aside in order to let Bruce pick up his daughter.  He stood up and stroked her hair.

"Can I stay with you and mommy tonight?"  He looked to Selina

"Why not?" she shrugged.  "The worst seems to be over."

"You will wake us up if you feel sick again?" her father asked.  She nodded.

Half an hour later they were all asleep soundly.  Felis managed to crawl onto her dad's chest where the sound of his heart lulled her to sleep.  She was so slight Bruce barely noticed. 

"Daddy!" he heard the small cry in the dark.

He opened his eyes and peered down at Felis.  Selina rose from the bed to look at her daughter also.  Felis snored softly but that was all.  They looked at each other and shrugged.  They both laid back.

"Mommmy!"

"I heard that."  She jumped out of bed, noted that she had on a nightgown and kept going.  Half way to the door that horrible sound, for the second time that night, echoed throughout the room.  She stopped immediately.  Her whole body sagged and she dropped her head.  Bruce was chuckling behind her.  He helped her on with her robe.

"I hate puking," she said.

"I know sweetheart."

"No, really!" she turned to him.  "Do they have to vomit?"

"Apparently so," said Bruce helping her out the door.

"Mommy," they heard again and began to dash down the hall.

"If it makes you feel any better," he began when they got to Grayson's door.

"What?"

"You are never getting pregnant again."  She looked at him, the corners of her mouth tugging upward.

"Oh really?  Too late."  He looked like he had been struck.

"Wh-what?"

"We'll talk about it in the morning."  She pushed into Grayson's room and turned on the light.

"Oh, Gray—"

"I'm sick!"

"Good Lord boy!! And why is it so--GREEN?!"


	2. Now I Remember

NOW I REMEMBER Normal 2 364 2001-11-11T03:28:00Z 2001-11-11T03:28:00Z 5 2347 13382 111 26 16434 9.2720 

Bruce lay awake though the rest of his family was fast asleep.  He wanted to sleep but Selina's little bomb had his mind churning.  Pregnant—again!  He rubbed an eye with the palm of his hand. A mass of confusing thoughts and feelings went running through him.

He would love every child they had.

The two that they had were a handful enough as it was.

He would worry about Selina's health.

Selina could take care of herself.

He did say that he wanted lots of children.

That was before he ended up with twins!

He chuckled remembering the night he and Selina had talked about children.  The deep rumble in his chest made Felis moan and shift positions. She had crawled back to her original spot when he'd returned from taking care of her brother.  He hadn't worried too much about waking her; she slept through damn near anything.  Gray, on the other hand, could hear a person blink and he'd wake up raring to go. It seemed like from the moment they were born they were like that.  Bruce's heart started to thunder fast; suddenly he had to know.

"Selina?" he said carefully reaching over to her.  

"Hm?" she said coming half awake when she felt his fingertips on her arm.

"Are you really, Honey?"

"No.  Go back to sleep or you'll wake Gray."

He smiled out of relief.  Although, he missed the tiny little bear hugs he got when they were younger.  Well, Felis was still very loving but Gray, he was a big boy now. Or so he would announce.  Bruce sympathized.  He remembered his first days at school when his mother would want to hug him in front of everybody!  He took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh.  Felis liking the feel of that mimicked him in kind.  He smiled putting his hand on her head and bent to kiss the top of it.  Bruce then thought of Gray getting older.  Which seem to bring on more trouble.  Everyone said that little boys tended to get into lots of mischief.  But he wondered if it was so much Gray's doing as his mother's encouragement.  

She'd tell to him chase the pigeons in the park.  The birds would expertly fly wild over the mounted police who were sometimes there.  The horses, being spooked by the sudden disturbance, almost threw their riders.  Selina would get that smug smile on her lips.  He in turn would eye her sternly and go after Gray to make him apologize.

He remembered the one-day at the Victorian tearoom downtown they had taken them to.

Gray had begged his mom for bubble gum.  She had denied him adamantly afraid he'd stick it in his pocket, like he was apt to do when he got tired of it.  Alfred would grumble for days when he'd discover the menacing treat AFTER having washed clothes.

That day, however, Selina had spied Mrs. Laura Castor and her prize Pekinese.  The dog had won numerous blue ribbons and trophies at dog shows all over the country and she let everyone know it.  When she found out that the Wayne's didn't have dogs, she sniffed and made snide comments about how worthless cats were.  To top it off, the dog had nipped Selina in the heel.  Selina in turn pick up the dog and held it away from her.  Bruce caught her arms before his wife could drop kick it into the next city.  She had claimed she wasn't going to kick it—much.

Selina had whispered something to Gray at the table, eyeing the dog, and handed him something.  Gray turned to the dog with an innocent, delighted smile.  Bruce eyed Selina but she ignored him.  The dog had taken the bubblegum Gray offered and chewed and chewed and chewed.  Mrs. Castor was unaware of the events until she stood to leave and her dog stuck to her.  She shrieked at the discovery of the gum everywhere on her thousand dollar mink and her dogs prize coat.  The dog had to later be shaved in order to remove the sticky mess.  The prized pooch missed the Championships that year and Min Worthington's Golden Retriever; Cleopatra Selene's Golden Eye (the dog's registered AKC name) won best in show. 

Bruce had been furious with his wife, who again ignored him.  Now, forgetting where he was, he laughed out loud.  Gray sat straight up.  Bruce lay motionless. His son lay back down and slept again.  Bruce sighed, thankful.

Bruce remembered when the twins were weeks old, he'd get caught waking Gray after Selina had spent hours trying to get him to sleep.  Being the new excited parent he was, he wanted to check on them every time he had the chance.

"Don't," Selina would warn him.

"One peek won't hurt," Bruce would insist.

"Bruce if you wake that boy…" she'd threaten him.  He in turn would ignore her and sneak up to the nursery.  Sure enough, he'd wake Gray who he could never sneak up on.  At first, Selina would take the wailing boy and put him to a breast to get him to sleep again.  Bruce would watch intently absolutely fascinated.  It was the close scrutiny of her husband that led her to believe he just liked watching her feed the twins.  She thought it was rather kinky of him and she'd shrug, to each his own.  

Finally, Selina had enough of it and when he'd wake his son, Selina made him put him to sleep.  Having no breast to offer, Bruce had to walk the Manor, hoping the motion would rock him back to sleep.  And he'd walk for hours!  For Selina it was a satisfying end.  For Bruce, it was a pain in the ass.  Okay, he'd learned.  Through it all Felis had slept soundly.

Felis had been the smaller of the two.  Leslie had insisted that they wake her every couple of hours and make her eat in order to gain weight.  That was easier said than done.

They tapped the bottom of her feat, rubbed her face and unwrapped her from her blankets, hoping the coolness of the air around her, would wake her.  Nothing.  Selina was relentless though.  Especially after Leslie had weighed the child a few weeks later and there was no change.

"We'll have to incubate her if we can't get her weight up."

That was the first time he would see his wife pale with fear over the children.  It was a horrible look and it made his heart break.  It was especially hard on Selina because Grayson was hell bent on being at Selina's breast constantly.  He seemed to know instinctively that his sister was nursing and he would wail, completely outraged.  It got so that Selina would take Felis to another room to eat.

Bruce smiled.  His son was all boy!

He blamed himself mostly.  The twins had been born in the manor instead of a hospital.  That hadn't been their idea.  If it hadn't been for Ra's al Ghul kidnapping his wife when she was well into her last trimester….Ra's he thought.  He couldn't stifle the growl that hummed in his chest.  Felis heard it and squirmed again this time kicking her legs.  He caught hold of one little leg, to keep her from kicking a particular sensitive spot.  He gently slid her of his body to the bed.  "Better safe then sorry," he thought.

He got off the bed instead of trying to sleep.  The thought of Ra's descending on his house and stealing his wife always got his blood boiling.  There was no use trying to sleep now.  He couldn't stop the images of his coming home to find his butler stashed behind the couch in the front sitting room.  That's where Selina had carried him when he had passed out from drinking the spiked tea meant for her.

A band of rioters had started a small war in downtown Gotham.  They had seen the mass confusion from their TV that night.  When he had recognized a couple of the rioters as henchmen of Talia's old assassin group, he'd taken off.  At the time he hadn't realized that the riot was just a diversion to get him out of the house.  A feeling of utter doom consumed him when Talia had been nowhere on the scene.  None of Ra's frontline men where there either.  That led him to conclude that the main attack was somewhere else.  That's when his mind screamed, "GET HOME—QUICK!"

He had quickly put out the dispatch to Oracle to send everyone to the manor.  Even Nightwing was to come though he was hours away.  

"Hell," he remembered saying to her, "call Superman if you have too."  It was too late.

His house was minimally ransacked on the inside and he figured that in her condition, Selina had been smart and not put up a fight.  It was Robin who had directed him outback.  It had looked like a war had gone on at there.  It didn't make sense, at the time.

His thoughts were temporarily interrupted by a groan coming from his bed.  He turned quickly hoping that one of his children was not sick again.  He saw a flurry of commotion coming from under the covers.  Selina sat up.

"What is the problem?" She said in a loud whisper.

"Sister is kicking me." Gray whined.  Selina looked over at Felis.  She was kicking at the sheets and covers tangled in her feet.  She was also sweating.  Selina reached over Gray with a groan.

"She's not kicking you," she said with a grunt pulling at the covers wrapped around her daughter.  "She's just caught and hot."  Selina yanked off the blankets, releasing Felis' feet.  She pealed back the top comforter but replaced the sheet over Felis.  Once that was done, Selina sighed and lay back down.

"Daddy's awake," Gray said sitting up.  Selina groaned in annoyance.

"I'm just going to the bathroom, Gray.  Go back to bed."

"Yes, sir." He said quietly.

"Come here," Selina said and she wrapped herself around him.  They both purred softly and fell back to sleep.  

Relieved but still wide-awake, he moved further from the bed in order to keep from disturbing them.  Ra's men were not actually the first men to overtake his house.  A man that use to work for Ra's had arrived first. Caspian Murdock had been the one who stole his wife.  

Later he found out that Selina had continued to watch the news after he left.  Alfred had come with her normal evening tea.  Alfred had become weary of the tea when, having poured the hot water over the herbs, they gave off an unusual smell.  He had taken a slight sip thinking he had brought her the wrong tea.  One tentative sip turned into another; yet he still couldn't quite place the smell although the taste was still the same.  The next thing he knew he couldn't see strait and the house was swimming.   Selina had been speaking to him, saying she too had recognized a few of the men the cameras had spied but none of the usual Demon gang was in attendance.  When Alfred didn't answer she became concerned.  She turned to him to see him lying on the ground the tea spilt everywhere.  That's when Selina clued into what was happening.  She knew she couldn't carry him with her to the "safe" house, she called it, that Bruce constructed.  There were many scattered all over the house.  Places both she and Alfred where to retreat to if something like this were to happen.  At first Selina had objected to the idea.  But Bruce had questioned what she was going to do if something should happen as her condition advanced, attack with her stomach.  She didn't think that was funny and he paid the price for it.

He signed heavily while he looked out the French doors that lead to the balcony outside his bedroom.

Ra's hadn't made it easy for him to find her either and that had taken time.  He wasn't in any of his usual locations.  When Bruce, terrified that his wife's due date was getting close, too close, he'd finally uttered defeat and went to Talia.  Selina would kill him when she found out he had gone to Talia.  Being so consumed in worrying, he couldn't think.  Everything piece of evidence he found didn't lead anywhere close to Ra's.  Everyone he wanted to question turned up dead before he even got to them.  The worst part was, that had he been thinking strait, he would have seen some of the inconsistencies of the attack in the clues left behind.  Ra's hadn't started the attack on his house.

He found this out when he nearly brought Talia's house down.  Caspian had worked for Ra's when al Ghul had come for his wife the fist time, on their honeymoon.  Caspian knowing how desperate Ra's was to break up the couple, had planned to use Selina to get whatever he wanted out of Ra's, as a bargaining chip.  It was he who had first descended on the Manor and Ra's, who knew what was happening, let it.  Ra's group had confronted Caspian as they tried to leave.  Caspian had no idea Ra's would be there; he never knew that al Ghul had found out his plans by way of a, now dead, cooperative.

Things had gotten so violent that Ra's had his group pull back fearing for Selina's safety or so he said. Ra's had worried about Selina's safety all right.  He worried that if she died, that would defeat the purpose.  Ra's had wanted her alive or, more accurately, wanted the children.  Ra's had backed off from the Manor fight.

Later Bruce found out that Caspian had devised the plan and Ra's was not going to let Caspian black mail him.  The safest thing to do was let Caspian take his wife and let Batman think Caspian had done it.  Once Caspian thought he had Selina safely, Ra's would swoop in, keeping Selina for himself.  It was like killing two birds with one stone.  Ra's would get rid of Caspian and his threats (by way of the Batman) and have Selina.  The one thing Ra's didn't count on (and why NOT it happened EVERY TIME) was that Talia would do anything for Bruce.

Bruce had to not only get his wife back from Caspian WITH Talia's help but, having ended up at Ra's Nepal stronghold, somehow had to get her home as well.  This was especially difficult since having had to illicit both Ra's and his daughter's help, he might insist one of his rewards be one of the Batman's children.

Normally, Batman and Ra's al Ghul would come to some unspoken agreement to go their separate ways, until the next time.  He was so desperate he ended up escaping from the al Ghul complex.  Selina started having contraction 5 hours from home, he radioed for Leslie to meet them at the manor.  And in the middle of a dark stormy night, while lighting scored the night sky, the twins were born.

He had kept the secret of Ra's design on their children from Selina that night.  He had to at the time and since he got away with that little secret (along with his wife) he never mentioned it again.  However, now, he was more cautious of Ra's and any designs he might have on his twins.  Especially Grayson.  Grayson with his mother's eyes, was to Ra's the ultimate prize.  Since then Bruce hadn't heard a peep out of Ra's or Talia, which was not necessarily a good thing.

He walked back to his bed.  Sprawled on his side of the bed was his curly haired daughter. Next to her was Gray, equally spread out.  Selina had managed to still keep secure a small portion of her end of the bed though covers were nowhere in sight.  He itched to take the covers that were wrapped about Grayson's legs but thought better than to wake him.  They were all tired even himself he suddenly realized.

He slipped into his side of the bed not moving Felis an inch.  He was known for sleeping in the mouths of the Gargoyles that stood a top some of the tallest buildings in Gotham, this was a piece of cake.  Balanced at the edge of his bed he slept well.

That's how Alfred had discovered the four of them.  The twins had nearly the whole California king size bed while both parents teetered close to there perspective edges.  Gray having heard Alfred, stirred and pushed out even further which causes Selina to go over her side.  Alfred jumped rattling the tray of breakfast dishes he had in his hand.  Selina being of quick mind and body slammed one foot down on the floor and quickly got her balance as the second came down.

She did, however, stumble forward a bit because her foot was caught around some sheets.  Once she had detangled herself, hands on hips she looked sternly at her bed.  She looked up at Alfred.

"Now I know remember why they don't sleep with us anymore."

Alfred laughed.  This startled Gray who believing it was his sister who had caused some discomfort and he kicked his legs out.  Having gotten his sister pretty good, she back away from him and into her father who too went over the side of the bed.  Only Bruce who was quicker, of course, landed both his feet on the floor before he stood and turned to find out who his attacker was.  Confused he looked down at his bed then up at Alfred.  He shook his head in wonder.

"Now I know remember why they don't sleep with us anymore."


End file.
